


i only need you to be friends with me

by sajere1



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, Practice Kissing, Pre-Season/Series 02, Teenage Dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:35:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22056406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sajere1/pseuds/sajere1
Summary: Fabian and Riz hang out, but they aren’t allowed to tell anyone about it, and Fabian is a perfect kisser. These things are connected.
Relationships: Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster
Comments: 8
Kudos: 343





	i only need you to be friends with me

“It’s not weird,” Fabian says.

“Uh-huh.” Riz feels a little stupid, just how struck dumb he is. Just by the whole thing.

“It’s just – it’s a skill,” Fabian says. They’re on Fabian’s bed, because they can’t do anything fun at Riz’s house without waking his mom up, and because Fabian’s mom is downstairs and Fabian says he loves her but Riz sees the way he skirts around her gaze whenever possible. “You gotta practice it. You know? Just like any sword stuff. Or, like bloodrush. I’m, uh, I’m sure I’ll be naturally good, because I’m,” Fabian gestures to himself, “but it’s – it’s good to practice, too, to refine the skill.”

“Uh-huh,” Riz says again. He agrees with Fabian, obviously – well, kind of, in that way where sometimes Fabian is a little cocky, and Riz doesn’t _100% think so_ per se, but he likes the confidence, likes hearing that Fabian likes himself, so he doesn’t argue. But he agrees, still. Fabian is naturally good at pretty much everything he tries. And with the way he is, just, all corded muscle and chiseled jaw and slicked back hair and a scar over his eye that shouldn’t make Riz feel weird but does – kissing isn’t an exception.

“It doesn’t have to be weird,” Fabian insists, and Riz is pretty sure that he’s not the one being convinced. “It wasn’t weird when Kristen kissed us. It was just a thing for friends. And this is – just a thing for friends. As practice.”

“So that you’ll be good at it for Aelwen,” Riz supplies.

“Yes!” Fabian points, dramatically, at nothing, and Riz smiles a little. “Exactly. She deserves perfect kisses. And I should give them to her. And you can – for Baron. Right? Right. _Right.”_

“Right,” Riz says, because this seems like a bad time to come clean, and also because he’s not really listening anymore. It’s hard to concentrate on what Fabian’s saying when every time he talks it moves his mouth, and Riz is struggling not to just stare at his lips anyway. Just look and think about what they’ll feel like on his, whether they’ll be chapped or wet or plush or dry, what it’ll feel like to kiss in a Real way, even if it’s a fake real way. “Like training. Just to get the muscles ready.”

“Exactly.” The room goes awkward-silent. It didn’t used to do that, but it does, now, more and more often. Usually it’s because Riz has said something and the Hangman has given him some carefully worded backhand, or an adult butted into the conversation at a weird time. Maybe Riz is just projecting his awkward onto the silence. Sophomore year has been much more of that than freshman. He feels too tall and too short and too _wrong_ all at once, and it’s been bleeding into the way he talks to Fabian, especially.

After a solid few seconds of nothing, Riz figures that it’s on him to be the driving force of this little training session, so he crawls over from his side of the bed to Fabian’s. There’s a moment of nervous hesitation before Riz starts to climb in Fabian’s lap, and then they’re fumbling over each other, Fabian hissing about Riz’s knees digging into his legs. It takes a hot minute to get to a position that isn’t terribly uncomfortable for both of them, Fabian’s hands on his hips and Riz’s around his neck.

“Part of learning,” Riz says, as he moves so his ankle isn’t bent weird.

“Glad I won’t have to do this with Aelwen,” Fabian mutters, and Riz snorts.

“Okay.” When they’re finally settled, faces a strong foot apart from each other, Riz pauses. “That was my turn. Now you initiate.”

Fabian raises an eyebrow. “I don’t think we’re supposed to – take turns, necessarily.”

“Not when we get _good_ at it,” Riz snaps, because Fabian said it wouldn’t be weird but it’s a _little weird_ and Riz wants it to stop. “It’s a first try. It’s not – we gotta work out the kinks.”

At ‘kinks,’ Fabian snorts, pressing his face to Riz’s shoulder. “Is you ordering me around gonna be one of the kinks we have to work out?” he teases, and Riz would almost consider it a normal conversation if he couldn’t watch the way Fabian’s ears have gone flushed at what he’s saying, the way his legs shift, all tense underneath Riz’s own.

“If it’s gotta be.” Riz makes a frustrated sound and starts to pull back, sliding out of Fabian’s grip. “Look, if it’s weird, we don’t have to, we just, we can just – “

Fabian’s face comes back to view, and his hands tug Riz forward at the waist, and then they are _kissing,_ and oh, wow. It’s. Huh.

It’s awkward, a little. And it’s not – it’s not what Riz thought kissing would be like. Now that he thinks about it, he wasn’t sure what he thought kissing would be like, just that it would feel good and it’d be really hot and he’d want to do it forever. It’s – nothing, at first. It’s not so much the contact of it, because it’s just skin on skin, so much as the thought that he _is kissing,_ that he’s kissing _Fabian,_ that burns his blood, and makes him cling a little to the base of Fabian’s scalp.

“Claws, the Ball,” Fabian says when he pulls back, a little breathless, and Riz scrambles to loosen his grip. After a moment of maneuvering he digs his hands into his own legs, because he needs to be clinging to something. That doesn’t last very long, because Fabian pushes back in and Riz is scrabbling at Fabian as a grounding presence again, so he grabs the front collar of Fabian’s shirt and clings there, for a place to hold, to dig his claws in and push.

“Okay,” Riz says, when they pull back a second time. He’s breathing a little hard, which seems – weird, all they’ve done is put their mouths together, it’s not really any more intimate than, like, touching fingers, or something, he thinks. But Fabian is breathing hard too, and he’s flushed, and his good eye is kind of wide, staring at Riz like he’s got the world. “Okay. Is that – good? Are we doing good?”

“Yeah,” Fabian says. He clears his throat when he hears his own voice – rougher than usual, and pitched a little higher, in a way that makes Riz’s stomach roll. “Yeah,” he says again. “You’re – you’re doing fine. That part’s not hard. Doing good.”

“Right,” Riz says, dumbly. “You too. You were good at it.”

“Cool,” Fabian says. “So – do you want to try, uh, like, open mouth? Right? Frenching?”

Riz can’t help himself when he giggles, hands slowly untensing their grip on Fabian’s shirt. “Dude, no one calls it Frenching.”

“That’s the word for it.” Fabian’s face twists in something like a scowl. “It’s a descriptive term. It’s accurate.”

“Whatever, man.” Riz leans in. Part of him – insane – wants to nuzzle at Fabian’s neck, wants to kiss different spots on his face. But that’s too much, too far, right now. He’s not ready for that. One thing at a time. “Yeah. Let’s, uh. Let’s French.”

“You’re a bastard man,” Fabian grumbles, but he initiates the kiss this time, too, leaning in.

It’s harder this way. Riz is more aware of his teeth, sharp, which are probably taking Fabian out of the fiction that Riz is a hot elvish girl right now. And it’s also just – they’re moving now, right. And it’s a lot wetter, and kind of slimy, the feeling of Fabian’s tongue trailing over his, gross in a way that has Riz breaking out and snorting, out loud. Fabian has a brief moment to look hurt before Riz pushes in to try again, trying to fit so that they aren’t bumping noses every time their mouths shift against each other.

Riz doesn’t have any other experience, doesn’t know how to say whether it’s good, exactly. But when Fabian’s tongue darts over his incisors he shivers, and when Fabian takes Riz’s lower lip between his teeth he squeaks, a little noise that he didn’t mean to make and didn’t realize he was making ‘till it came out, that makes Fabian giggle this time.

“That was good,” Riz says, breathless. “You’re a natural.”

“As in everything.” Fabian’s chest is puffed up a little, proud, and Riz wants to laugh at the contrast, where Fabian’s face looks like he’s been in a sauna or something but his posture looks like he’s won a trophy. It’s exhausting, kissing, Riz is realizing. He never wants to stop doing it. “You can, uh. You can be a little more aggressive, I think. The point is to – to try stuff, and if it doesn’t work we know, right?”

“Right.” Riz’s hands push up and over Fabian’s shoulders again, and Fabian smiles at him, still part-nerves and part-victory, and he is the most gorgeous thing that Riz has ever seen in his life. “Right. You, uh, you want to practice more?”

“We’ve barely started,” Fabian says. “Just – we. We can’t tell the others about this. Right? They wouldn’t, uh.”

“They’d be weird about it,” Riz agrees. He’s already leaning in, pushing a little closer, looking at Fabian’s mouth, thinking about how it’ll taste. “It’s – just us. We won’t talk about it.”

“We won’t talk about it,” Fabian breathes in agreement before he pushes in to close the distance.

**Author's Note:**

> this was posted on tumblr back at the very start of november. i wasnt going to post it over here because it was just a warm-up, but a couple people have actively searched it out recently, so i figured id throw it here for easier archiving purposes. <3
> 
> title is from the song touch by shura, the lyrics im referring to in full being "starting to live the lies we tell ourselves / I only need you to be friends with me."
> 
> catch me on tumblr @riz-gukgak!


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